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WHO ARE YOU?Β 

REALLY RAD is the only RECORD LABEL that provides ENLIGHTENMENT to THOSE WHO WISH TO TRANSFORM REALITY.

We believe in spreading the POSSIBILITY OF THE HIGHER. Our products will EXPAND YOUR MENTAL HORIZONS ACROSS DIMENSIONS. If you can’t hear us, you’re not listening close enough!

WHY SHOULD I CHOOSE YOUR COMPANY?

Do you feel out of place? Do others think you’re strange? Have you ever felt as if earth may not be your home?

For fans of underground music, our records will introduce you to a higher state of human consciousness. Our physical media promises to bring about the end of society and usher in the new era. Sit back, relax, saturate your brain with the vibrations of the universe. You’ll be feeling better in no time!

HOW CAN I BENEFIT FROM YOUR PRODUCT?

Our records are guaranteed recession-proof, sanity-saving, life-changing, and reported 92% effective in unlocking your natural capacity for self-renewal. They are clinically proven to cure various psychoneuroses, and trusted by doctors across the centuries. What you see is not all there is. Join the shared consciousness and prepare for the liberation of humanity.

/// CAUTION: SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE: endorphin rushes, involuntary astral projection, occasional possession, and in rare cases, erectile dysfunction.

IS YOUR PRODUCT PURCHASED WITH ONE-TIME PAYMENT?

There is a one-time fee for prepared physical media.* Rest assured that your donation will be used exclusively to provide answers and miracles to all who are prepared to receive them.

Although digital copies may do the trick, members are encouraged to play physical media whenever possible in order to transmit the necessary frequencies for complete sonic manipulation.

Cease to identify yourself with mere possessions, and step into the vast and unending β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹ β–‹.

*We encourage those who may not be able to afford the fee to apply for financial aid.

CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE INGREDIENTS AND SAFETY OF YOUR PRODUCT?

As of 2020, all of our records are certified free of dairy, gluten, and tree nuts.

However, our records do contain parabens, soy, wheat, vegans, egg, water, vegetable oil (corn, sunflower and/or canola oil), modified corn starch, diced tomatoes in tomato juice, pasteurized process cheese product, egg (backup), skim milk, real emo, dimethyltryptamine, maltodextrin, sodium hexametaphosphate, ketamine, the voice of god, communist and/or anarchist ideals, water, monosodium glutamate,Β tele-influence, datem, fake emo, ironic or semi-ironic metacommentary, spice, and artificial color (yellow 5, yellow 6, and red 40).

Our records are not recommended for children under the age of 3 or over the age of 65.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

We have always been here. Don’t you remember us? We remember you.

HOW DID YOU FIND ME?

The idea of constant surveillance creates regulation in even the smallest details of everyday life. Concerns over this sort of monitoring date back to the beginning of the rise of personal computers in the late 80s. Programs are available that covertly track keystrokes, laws are passed to collect data on those deemed to be a threat, public transport cards can be used to monitor physical movements of citizens. On the other end of the line, nothing is being communicated, no information divulged. Your online behavior and actions can always be seen, but you never see the observer.

WHAT DO I DO NEXT?

Buy fast immediately now quick hurryΒ they are coming

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EDIT 12/31/83:
REALLY RAD RECORDS is excited to report that as of today, we have never turned a profit. We hope to continue this proud legacy for many years to come.

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β€œUnprecedented times call for unprecedented tunes.”

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